Mooo!

Cows have been getting it in the shorts a bit recently, haven't they?

Right - have you noticed the insinuations in the press recently? (If you're unlucky enough to live abroad, then you probably haven't, so I'll enlighten you)

Sources - the sunday times and the BBC - sundry other news programmes.

Every report about the 'cow' situation mentions the election. Every single one of them puts Blair in a bad light for refusing to postpone.

None of them comes right out and syas it.

"The countryside is actually quite a large voting block. And a mighty pissed off one right now. Timing this election to conincide with the worst of it will make canvassing hard, and distract them from mounting a concerted campaign"

Actually, half of them intimate "This entire outbreak was deliberately caused to further weaken the farming establishment"

Now. The question isn't "did they really do this" or even "is this intentional?" - the question is "Does the public beleive so"

And the answer is unequivocally yes.

Yes, in my opinion, the gubberment is capable of this. It has the motive, the ability and the drive.

Now, in the interests of a lack of bias - I also happen to beleive that the opposition has the same capabilities. And the motive to anger the farming establishment enough to take action.

Here is a question for you then. Why is it that I can beleive these things of the gubberment, and yet not beleive that they are strong minded enough to deliberately destroy the farming purely in order to increase the population and hence productivity of the country? We're no longer well suited to farming, and too small to be self sufficient with this population level anyway...

Side facts for those who may not know. Mad cow desiese isn't always fatal to cattle, vaccination would probably have worked, but the deliberate business decision was mande ten years ago to not bother - occaisonal culls were probably cheaper.

Get back to my main page

Or continue reading for some impromptu cow humour from IRC yesterday.

<CP> mad cow disease is in da USA now
<CP> damn you brits!
<Vitenka> mc'dougals will fold!
<Vitenka> millions of starving fat lazy gits!
<CP> in vermont i think
<Vitenka> the vermese will revolt (more)!
<Grrrr> but, but, vit, what will our fellow programmers eat?
<CP> yeah but when we get some nasty disease well send it to you brits!
<CP> suffer again, muhahaha
<Vitenka> uh.. where was I? Oh yeah
<Vitenka> kill cows, solver greenhouse effect!
<Vitenka> It's all a conspiracy ;)
<Derfs> but cows are nice :/
<Vitenka> farting cows destroy the environment, we all know that right?
<CP> i think someone needs to get some mental help for vit
<Derfs> produce geneticall engineered cow then
<Vitenka> My mentals are fine!
<Vitenka> no no! Genetically engineered cows go on the rampage and destory their creators because they are threatened by idiotic villagers and cannot coprehend love
<Derfs> like a tree, make a cow produce oxygen <Vitenka> EVERYONE knows that. And if they don't they can read the book. Or play B+W soon
<CP> love thy cow!!
<Derfs> good for the environment
<Grrrr> no, O2 is good for the environment :)
<Vitenka> No! O2 is evil! Almost as evil as oxygen-di-hydride
<Grrrr> in it's triatomic form it's kinda, er, harmful :)
<Vitenka> it caused plants, destoryed the CO2 loving algae
<Grrrr> dihydrogen oxide vit :)
<Derfs> a chain of diving cows.. hmmmm]
<Derfs> at sea a person in drowning, you throw them a cow's ass! oxygen producing cows are a *good thing*
<Vitenka> Ah forget it, we need to send our cows to the moon
<Vitenka> that way they'll all be quarantined and safe from desies
<Vitenka> and can fart as much as they like, until they cause space1999 to happen
<Derfs> and that would be VERY bad
<Vitenka> cows...in...SPACE!
<Vitenka> a ring of cows in orbit around the earth, their methane to keep them aligned - co-m00-ication sattelites
<Derfs> an oxygen producing cow is for life, not just birthdays
<Vitenka> the only problem with oxygen producing cosws - lime coloured milk
<Vitenka> Why don't we just infect every cow Then they'd all have foots and mouths, and eventually die or get better.
<Derfs> only the strongest cows survive!
<Oz> put it in a vat of dilute acid
<Derfs> but we would surely get mutant-cows
<Vitenka> ok, acid tripping cows is sillier
<Oz> hmm - gold plated cows anyone?
<Oz> shp with his head up a cows arse
<Vitenka> don't be silly oz. then they would be too heavy to float
<Oz> vit: Stack them.
<Vitenka> No! Cows don't stack, everyone knows that
<Vitenka> they can only be north/south aligned :)
<Derfs> how about mini-cows, for the elderly who need a ortable gold cow
<Derfs> portable
<Vitenka> like growly's car

Edited by Vitenka at 2001-03-22 10:06:26